Consent and Gaming: A "How to Run Mage" Interlude

Before the first game session, before any dice are rolled, it's important to establish a place of safety and trust for your players. That means establishing boundaries.

Back when I first started playing tabletop games, consent was not ever discussed. We were young teens playing Vampire: The Masquerade, a World of Darkness game by White Wolf Publishing. We were playing monsters in a setting that's supposed to be dark and deadly. This character is draining blood from this hapless mortal! That character just frenzied and ripped that NPC's limbs off! Rawr, edgy and dark and what monsters we are, rawr! No boundaries, this is totally a mature game setting, grow a pair and get to being a tortured soul in an evil and dangerous world!

And that's not even getting into the Sabbat vampires like this one.

As we grew older and matured, however, we understood that there are some topics that are off-limits to some people. Everyone's threshold for tolerating adult subject matters is different, and this should be taken into account by everyone around the table, especially the person running the game.

One of the first questions I asked my gaming group before we even started the first Mage session was, "Are there things I should know to steer clear of in this game, things that might make you super uncomfortable or pull you out of the enjoyment of the moment?" It's a simple but important question. What are the "hard pass" topics among your group? What would they like to avoid confronting even in a safe, controlled fictional environment? Which messed up scenarios are OK, and which are off the table? Knowing the answer and respecting your group's boundaries goes a long way toward making game night a safe and trusted place to relax and really get into each session.

If the discussion of consent isn't initiated by anyone else, speak up. Lead the charge. Make sure that your voice is heard and that your limits are respected. Failing to respect your fellow gamers in that regard can derail a game session real fast, and could cost you a player (or a friend) in the process.

Your game does not need to be Care-A-Lot, but it does need consent.

GMs, if you find that someone is starting to feel very uncomfortable with something happening in-game, it costs nothing to call for a quick break to check in with them. If someone is deliberately making someone else uncomfortable, call for a break and take them aside to ask them to knock it off. If they persist in making others uncomfortable, it's time to ask them to leave.

Players, you have no obligation to stick it out if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable in a gaming group. That goes double for your GM. What do you do if the GM is forcing you to confront something in the game that is a hard pass for you? Remove yourself from that situation and find a gaming group that is more respectful of your comfort zone.

In the end, running tabletop RPGs isn't a job, it's a hobby. A game. And shouldn't the gaming table be a place where everyone can come together and have fun?