NaNoWriMo: The Halfway Point

Today is Nov. 16th, roughly halfway through National Novel Writing Month. Time for a pep talk!



For those of you still participating in this event, way to go! You're already a cut above the rest by sticking with it this long, regardless of what your word count is right now. Those of you who started strong but gave up due to [insert excuse here], it's not too late! Put the boots on and launch back into that word count with renewed ferocity. And to the rest of you who never crossed the start line, it's not too late for you, either! You'll have twice the work ahead of you than most NaNoWriMo-ers, but it's not unheard of to make that 50,000 word goal in half the time.

The halfway point was hard for me. Sure, I had kept with the daily word count goals I had set for myself, but I was still only halfway there. Real life was already doing its best to derail my progress and the last half of the month would bring with it the additional complication of the Thanksgiving holiday. An already uphill battle for a guy who had previously only done 3-page short stories was going to be even more difficult.

I had every reason in the world to stop. My friends wanted to hang out with me again. Family wanted to spend time with me around the holiday. Work drained my energy during the day, leaving me running on fumes at night. And then there was that ever-present noise in my head, telling me that I wasn't good enough, I'm not a real writer, I should stop trying so hard and give up now.

You know what I did? I kept writing anyway.

My friends understood that I had a passion and needed to stoke that fire in me. Family had to sleep, and there was always that time late at night or early in the morning when they weren't awake yet and I could lay down some more words. At work, I would write on my lunch break and during my commute to and from the office. I stole every possible moment I could from the day to meet my daily goals, and I'll be damned if I was going to let the world keep me from crossing the finish line.

As for the noise in my head? It was always there, and always will be there. Self-doubt is nothing new to writers. Even the seasoned vets still hear that voice drilling doubt into their brain. The trick is to hear it without giving in to it. Recognize that voice, smile and nod at it, then go ahead and write anyway. If you have to, say aloud, "I will make it to 50,000 words." Make it your mantra. Don't worry about sounding crazy, everyone assumes writers are weird anyway.

You can do it. I know you can, and deep down, you know you can, too. Stick with it, you'll be glad you did.

See you at the finish line!

Between the Lines - The Coffee Machines

It's been a while since I've written one of these, so I thought it was well past time for another entry in the Between the Lines series! This time, we'll take a look at the third short story of The Everyday Divnities Project...

The Coffee Machines

First off, let me give the last of the three-part apology carried through this series thus far. Much like "The TV and the Remote Control" and "The Alarm Clock" stories, this one was self-edited, and I have a hard time being objective about my work. I can proofread my own stuff, but it takes an editor who is not so attached to the characters or the themes to make the tough decisions regarding the voice of the characters and the economy of words. If you can't tell, I tend to be verbose, and I have this deep-seated need for ALL OF THE WORDS to go into my stories. Fortunately, this behavior is being corrected.

I kept with the previous mission statement for these short stories and focused on the gods within the inanimate objects as opposed to the humans who used them. Unlike those previous stories, there are no humans at all in this tale. They're referenced, absolutely, but they don't show up as actual characters in the story. I felt that the past two stories had eased people into the concept of a hidden world of inanimate objects and the divinities that made them work, allowing me to delve deeper into the world of the Inanimates without using people as the bridge to cross into that setting. In fact, the last two short stories I'd written are set up in a similar way, with the narrative set fully in their world from start to finish instead of our own.

The absence of humans in this story is balanced by putting two divinities in a very human situation, that of a job review. Even teenagers can relate to the tedium of a performance review at whatever mundane job they've taken on to make some money. I know I could! At the same time, it humanizes the characters by putting these all-powerful gods in a very mundane scene and gives some insight into how the Inanimates hierarchy works. How does one move up the ladder in this modern-day pantheon? Well, now you know.

For those who are wondering, the character of Taryn is an amalgamation of every boss I've ever worked for in my life, but the name has no relation to any of them whatsoever. Maybe you see a little bit of your supervisor or manager in Taryn, maybe not, but little pieces of each of my bosses over the years is represented somewhere in the story. (And no, I won't name which traits are from which boss!) As for Mr. Caulfie, whose name is a very obvious pun on the Mr. Coffee coffeemakers, I'll be honest and say that he's very much based on me in those situations.

My favorite part, though, is the employee record on Mr. C. These are all actual scenarios that I incorporated into the story, some that I'd seen firsthand and some that were relayed to me by others. I had a boss who used her coffee machine to brew tea, and there actually is a Mrs. Tea teamaker (made by the Mr. Coffee company) that has unfortunately been discontinued. Water leaking out onto the counter has been a fairly common problem I've noticed in office coffee machines in the various offices I've worked at, too. And the quote that Taryn gives from the file comes directly from my own mother, who was having problems with her own coffee machine. I'm pleased to report that it has since been fixed and brews amazing coffee once more without spilling a drop.

Incidentally, the goddess of coffee that Taryn will be working for is a prominent character in my trilogy. Does that mean that Taryn will show up in the course of that story? Only time will tell!

Got a question you'd like to ask about The Coffee Machines story? Feel free to post it in the comments section below, and I'll answer it right on this very page!

Tell The Truth Tuesday

It's that time again!

Yes, it's Tuesday morning, and it's about time I turned out another Tell The Truth Tuesday. So, by the numbers:

1. Speak Out With Your Geek Out was a fun event, and I'm glad I got to take part in it. I've always tried to display my geekitude in positive ways to show that it's not as scary as some people make it out to be, and I'm glad so many others felt the same way. It was a busy week for me, though, so I didn't get to delve into as much detail as I wanted to for my three posts last week. Then again, maybe that's a good thing. I could write an entire book on my geeky life, rife with more pop culture references than any two Tarantino films.

2. Did you know I was once asked to help create a horror movie that would feature RPGs? It's true! The players of the game would have been killed off through the movie by the villain/GM, and while character death is not foreign to gaming, I was not about to help facilitate the demonizing of the gaming community by working on that kind of project. I do, however, have a script in my head for a film that would put RPGs firmly in the fantasy action/adventure category. Maybe one day I'll put it down on paper...

3. ...But first, I should finish my trilogy. I must admit, the past few months have been hard on my creativity, and the next month isn't looking too much better. Sometimes, you need to take care of business to allow that creative energy to flow freely. Once I'm back on track, then I'll be able to rededicate myself to finishing my trilogy once and for all!

4. My anthology is almost ready to be digitally released to the wild! Just as I haven't had much time lately to dedicate to my trilogy, I haven't had time to get it formatted properly or to get a decent cover to my short story collection. Rest assured, though, it's coming!

5. My readership has gone up! Thanks to my Comic Booked reviews and the "Speak Geek" event, there's been a pleasant increase of readers on my blog, and I'm very grateful for the new page hits. Welcome, new people! I hope you enjoy what you read here and stick around for a while, there's plenty to get you caught up in the archives.

6. Star Wars was re-re-rereleased (again) this past week. I have not bought it. I probably won't buy it until the DVDs I have are no longer viewable, and by then, we'll have the entire series in 3-D for a re-re-re-rerelease. Sheesh!

7. I link to some of my Comic Booked articles here, but not all of them. While I like giving you all an easy way to see what else I'm writing when I'm not on this blog, I don't know if you really want to read all of my press releases, or my write-ups of comic book movie-related sightings, or even my reviews of comic books. But then, I've never asked you, my loyal readers, what you think of that content. Do you want to see more of it, and if so, how much? Would you rather I not link to it at all here? Let your voice be heard in the comment section below!

8. On a related note to the above question, are there any writing topics you'd like me to focus on for future posts? I try to give a little of everything and pass on information that might be useful or insightful to writing and being a writer, but the worst part is writing in a vacuum. Feedback is always welcome, and greatly prized by writers of all stripes! Just put it in the comment section below!

9. I love autumn because of the Pumpkin Spice Latte. I hate autumn because the changing season screws with my head, both mentally and allergy-wise. When is Daylight Savings Time over? I can never remember...

10. I almost forgot! I have a Tumblr account now, where I put all of the geekiness that I refrain from bombarding you with here. You can check it out at the link here, but be warned, it's pretty crazy geeky!

And on that note, I think I'll call it here. Until next time, loyal followers!

Tell the Truth Tuesday

Stolen from Laura and Lisa Write, because it's an awesome idea and it adds something to my blog other than story structure or quotes. So here goes!

1. I haven't finished my manuscript. In fact, I recently went back and rewrote the first chapter of my rewrite, which means I need to rewrite the rest of the rewrite so it flows naturally from that new opening. On the plus side, the new first chapter is so much stronger for it. Less talk, more action!

2. It's another overcast day here in "sunny" California. I think I'm going to put on my WoW Horde hoodie for the first time in months and walk to work in it.

3. The Coffee Bean definitely has better coffee, but they don't have the Pumpkin Spice Latte I love so much. Thank you, Starbucks, for having a location near to both work and home.

4. I should really be getting ready for work, not typing up truths for my blog. Whatever, I've got another few minutes.

5. October is my favorite month. It has my birthday, Halloween, and awesome weather. Bring on the Fall!

6. Now that I've mentioned the Pumpkin Spice Latte, I really want one. Mmm, coffee...

7. I still have no idea what costume I'm going to wear for Halloween. I should put more thought into that. Otherwise, I'm going to slap together my usual - Indiana Jones - and I think people have had enough of me as Indy over the years.

8. I should have gone to bed early last night, but I was redlining a manuscript for Barbara Deutsch. Why? Because she's helped me get this far as a writer, I feel honor-bound to help her with her own book. It all comes full circle.

9. I'm countering all the seasonal coffee with actual exercise this time! Hooray!

10. I'm really leaving for work now, I swear. Until next time, my faithful followers!

The Everyday Divinities Project - The Coffee Machines

The Coffee Machines - by R. B. LeMoyne
© June 15, 2010 * robertlemoyne@gmail.com

“You wanted to see me, boss?”

Taryn looked up from her desk at the young god standing in her doorway and smiled pleasantly. She was a vision of professional beauty, dressed in a classy cream-colored blouse and matching tan skirt suit, her honey-blonde hair pulled up in a bun. “Ah, Mister Caulfie. Please, come in, and shut the door behind you.”

“Sure,” he said, stepping into the office after closing the door quietly. “Also, you can call me Mr. C, if you like. Everyone else does.” He glanced around her room, noting the accolades on her wall and the pictures of her with coworkers and very important divinities. He only had one other opportunity to view the interior of this office before, back when he was hired, but that was in 1972. The number of framed commendations had increased dramatically since then, as well as the number of pictures. Mr. C doubted he would ever see half the gods Taryn had posed with, let alone appear as casual with them as she appeared to be in each image. Such is a divinity’s life that, even if he had centuries of service under his belt, he was simply one small part of the Inanimate Pantheon.

“All right, Mr. C,” she began, gesturing to one of the chairs across from her before closing the file she had been reading upon his arrival. “Have a seat, and we’ll begin.” At her request, he sat down, smoothing down his black tie and tugging on the cuffs of his white long-sleeve shirt nervously while trying to guess why he had been called in to see her.

Finally, Taryn folded her hands on top of her desk and regarded him evenly. “Do you know why I called you in here, Mr. C?

“No, ma’am,” he answered, shaking his head in the negative. “Should I?”

“Not necessarily. You may or may not know that I’ve been conducting evaluations of my employees over the past few years, gauging job performance with an eye toward the future of our business. As the goddess of coffee machines, I want to make sure our relationship with the goddess of coffee herself stays on very good terms,” she explained, idly tapping the file centered squarely on her desk.

“Of course,” Mr. C nodded.

Taryn nodded in return and continued, “To that end, I wanted to go over your file with you. For the most part, you’ve been an exceptional employee, filing your paperwork on time, keeping your domain in excellent working condition, performing your duties as the god of home coffee machines with enthusiasm and devotion.”

Mr. C smiled modestly and said, “Well, I do my best.”

“Your best,” she echoed, opening the file on her desk again and scanning the first page of the collected documents with a scrutinizing frown. “I have a few recorded events of ‘your best’ here that I wanted to get your take on. See if you can help me understand some of these… unique claims.”

The god blinked, stunned, unsure of where Taryn was going with this. “Uh, okay. What sort of claims?”

“The first one I have here,” she began, taking up a fountain pen before peering into the file, “is a report that you brew tea. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but you are the god of home coffee machines, are you not?”

“Yes, I am, but-“

“And is there not also a goddess of home tea machines to take up that task?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow at him critically.

Mr. C answered, “Yes, there is, but to be fair, Mrs. Tee’s domain wasn’t fully realized until I had been in my position for twenty-three years. In that time, mortals had already misused my domain to brew tea, a bad habit that I have no control over, unfortunately.”

“Hm. Then there’s this report,” Taryn continued, turning back to the chart again to make a note before flipping to the next page. “It says here that your domain, and I quote, ‘would seem like it was finished brewing - until I pulled the carafe out. Then a stream of coffee would suddenly pour down,’ end quote.” She looked up at Mr. C with a questioning frown. “We’re in the business of wasting another god’s domain now, are we?”

The god sitting across from her shifted his position uncomfortably in the seat. This was not going well. “No, we’re not, and I’m terribly sorry about that, really I am. But like the previous issue, mortals can only be influenced so far. It’s up to them to clean my physical domain, not me. I can only do so much without revealing my presence to the mortal realm, as I’m sure you’re well aware.”

“I see.” Mr. C was not reassured by her neutral tone that she did see, but that didn’t stop her from making another note and continuing with the evaluation. As she turned to the next page, Taryn went on, “Then there’s this report here that you leaked water all over a counter instead of using it to brew coffee.”

Aha! The god smiled and respectfully replied, “Actually, those instances are exceedingly rare and usually account for an error by the mortal using my domain. I’ve done some looking in to that report as it’s been brought to my attention previously, and I’ve found that they’re actually attributed primarily to office coffee machines, not home coffee machines.”

“Which means you’re accusing your co-worker of negligence when it comes to his domain?” she countered quietly.

“Uh, no, not precisely,” Mr. C responded, his smile faltering in the wake of her accusation. “Only that it’s possible the paperwork had been misfiled, or otherwise labeled incorrectly, to attach it to my domain, ma’am.”

“Possible,” Taryn echoed, making a quick note before setting her pen down and closing the file once more. “There are several more claims in there, following along the same lines as those three. Am I to gather, then, that they are no fault of your own and easily chalked up to either mortal incompetence or the carelessness of file clerks?”

Mr. C tugged nervously on his sleeve cuffs again. “Well, it’s hard to say without hearing the claims themselves. I will say, however, that if I’m at fault for anything when it comes to my domain, it’s in not exercising as much influence on the mortals as I could. I try to walk the fine line between influencing them in the care and upkeep of my physical domain, and allowing them the benefit of the doubt, but I tend to err on the side of withholding my influence so as not to draw undue attention to myself. If you’d rather I push that line more than I have, I can easily do that, but my concern is – and always has been – the Rule of Prime.”

Taryn stared at him for a moment in silence, the two divinities simply watching each other over the immaculate desk – the goddess with a critical eye and the god with a wary gaze. Before Mr. C could shatter the quiet with an anxious remark, however, his boss smiled pleasantly and spoke. “No, I don’t think that will be necessary, Mister Caulfie. It’s my professional opinion that you have a strong grasp of your duties and a remarkable intuition when it comes to how much pull to exert over the physical realm. And as you’ve noted, mortals don’t always allow us the luxury of performing our duties flawlessly. You’ve done some excellent work over the years, I must say, and I’m recommending you to fill my position when I’m promoted this year.”

It took Mr. C a moment to process what she had said, and even then, he wasn’t sure he had heard her correctly. “Wait, you’re… promoting me?”

“Indeed I am. The goddess of coffee herself is taking me on as her personal assistant, which leaves me in need of a responsible and trustworthy god to take my place when that happens. We’ll work up the details later, after you’ve had time to come to terms with this revelation,” she commented with a mildly teasing tone, “but be prepared to pull double duty as you’ll be carrying out your normal tasks while I train you to take on my own.

“I… I don’t even know what to say!” he stammered, rising from his seat as Taryn did, and thrust his hand out to her. “Congratulations to you, boss!”

“And to you, Mr. C,” she replied with a more casual smile, taking his hand briefly before sitting back down. “I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early, so we can go over the finer points of your promotion.”

Mr. C grinned, nodding, as he opened the door. “Absolutely! I’ll see you then, boss!” He closed the door behind him and walked down the hallway with a spring in his step and a song in his heart, eager to find out all that his new role in the pantheon entailed.

Busy, Busy

If you’re like me, you’re not making a living with your writing. Sure, you’ve got that dream project in mind, and maybe you’ve started taking steps to plan it out on paper. Maybe you’re further along than that, and you have everything but the kitchen sink plotted out for the world in your brain (and trust me, I’m looking for a way to bring that to life, too). Any way you slice it, you’ve got something in mind that you want to write, a great idea that needs to be expressed. There’s just one problem – you have no time to write!

Whenever I talk about writing to other creative people, a common phrase tends to crop up with minor variations: “I’d love to write, but I have no time.” Everyone has a million other things they need to do first, and they all take up every moment of every day. Whether it be work or kids, or boyfriend/husband (which, let’s face it, can also fall under the “kids” category sometimes), whatever your excuses are, they’re keeping you from letting you exercise your writing skills. They’re also completely bogus.

It’s always possible to find time to write. There are a number of perfectly good opportunities in the day to get something down on paper, opportunities that might otherwise slip by without you even knowing it. You can write first thing in the morning or just before you go to bed. You can write while you eat lunch, or while you’re on the phone listening to crappy hold music. You can write while you’re waiting for your friend to pick you up, or at the bus stop, or on the bus/train you take to work. Heck, you can write while you’re in the bathroom, provided you don’t have family threatening to break down the door if you don’t get out of there right now. There are tons of little moments in the day where you can put down some words in story form, if you know where to look.

How do I get around balancing a day job and social obligations to friends and family, and still find time to write? I’m fortunate in that I have a number of opportunities throughout the day where I can exercise my wordcraft. While I may not have much time between waking up and heading out to work (a morning person, I am not), I’ve got a good stretch of 20 minutes on the train ride to work where I can do my thing. At lunch, I can usually snag the same amount of time to nail down some story. And after work, I can either sequester myself at home or take a couple hours to fuel my imagination with caffeine at the local Starbucks.

Incidentally, I’ll take a venti Peppermint Mocha, the Frappuccino version if the weather is warm.

The point is, the supposed “lack of time” that everyone complains about is easily solved with some applied time management skills. Sure, you may have to sacrifice time in other areas of your life to accommodate writing – a little less time watching TV or fiddling around on the internet – but your writer’s spirit will thank you for it. And you may find that your writing will enrich the other areas of your life if you set some time aside specifically to let your imagination run wild.

Try it out, and see how it works for a week or two. And if you see me typing away on my laptop at Starbucks, I like my Peppermint Mocha with whipped cream, please!