Player Departures, or "Teach Them How to Say Goodbye"

Breaking up is hard to do. It does happen, sometimes, that a player has to leave a particular game/group for any number of reasons. Maybe their work schedule changed. Maybe they're moving away. Maybe a conflict came up with another activity. Maybe they're not a good fit for the game or the group. Maybe two players were dating and now they're not seeing each other. Maybe someone just ghosts and gives no indication on why they left or if they're coming back.

Jon Snow: Pro at saying goodbye without actually saying goodbye.

Player departures in a game already in progress can be awkward even in the best of circumstances. Here's a few tips on how to smooth things over based on my own experience running games:

Don't Pry If They Don't Want to Give a Reason
If a player leaves, but they don't want to get into the specifics of why, it's not your job to pester them until they tell you. Sometimes reasons are personal and have nothing to do with the game, and badgering the exiting player isn't going to get them to open up or feel better. On the contrary, it can quickly make for a terrible situation for the player. If they want to tell you, they will. Just be understanding and empathetic, and don't try to guilt trip them into staying. It'll be better for all involved.

Let Them Decide If or What They Want to Tell the Group
Some players have no trouble announcing their departure, while others don't want to make a scene. Either situation is just fine, but it should be the player's choice how they want to tell the rest of the group. Don't try to steal their thunder if they want to make the announcement themselves, and don't force them to say goodbye if they don't want to. Give them the option to do so, absolutely, and offer to say something to the group after the player departs if that would make things easier for them.

Don't Do Anything With Their Character Without Their Approval
GMs: Just because the player is leaving, doesn't mean you suddenly get an NPC to do with as you please. Talk it over with the player and try to find an agreeable fate for the character together. Maybe they want to have the character go off and learn or find something, to leave the door open for a return. Maybe they're okay with having the character NPC'd to avoid depriving the group of a valuable party member. Maybe they want the character's story resolved with finality, to close the door on that aspect of the chronicle. Whatever the character's future (or lack thereof), it should be the player's call, not yours.

Don't Give In to Pressure
Players: Your group may try to get you to give up your valuable gear, or the GM may ask for your character sheet to run your character in your absence. Don't feel obligated to give in to their demands if you don't want to. If you worked hard to get that legendary artifact, don't just give it up because another player wants to keep it in the game. Likewise, if you're not comfortable letting someone else play your character, you're under no requirement to hand them over. Your character is yours, and you get to decide what that means to you, not someone else. You do you, boo.

Saying goodbye is never fun, but the tips above should at least help make that departure a little less awkward for all involved. Got any questions about how to gracefully exit a gaming group? Ask them below and I'll get to them as soon as possible!